Beautiful chorus soundtrack on, lights off, red light on, draw bath, initiate breath work techniques. It’s so hard to gauge how long labor will be, and I found myself averse to keeping time of my contractions, as it felt too soon to do so. However, I’m grateful my best friend was keeping track, and informed me they were every 3 minutes, but ranging from 30-50 seconds.. I couldn’t make sense of this in the moment.. was that worthy of phoning the midwife? (Typically we call when contractions are every 4 minutes, lasting 1 minute long, after an hour of this pace..).
I labored in the bath tub at home until 1:30am. Sometime around midnight I requested the inflatable birthing tub be filled with hot water. I could appreciate the home tub, but it was not very conducive to the positions I wanted to be in. It is always a tricky decision to gauge when to fill the inflatable tub. You don’t want to get into the hot tub “too early” as it could slow labor down. But of course you want to maximize your time in the water and use the analgesic effects when you need them!
I used my ‘hypnobreathing’ breath work techniques, which kept me “in the zone”. If I felt anything besides calm, I used visualization to return. This would sometimes be visualizing the air circulating and infusing the placenta and uterus with so much oxygen, it could be qi (chi) moving with power to get baby in position to descend, or visualizing my abdomen expanding with each breath to optimize each contraction/surge.
I always knew I would have my hand down by my vulva during labor. But I didn’t realize I would have it there the entire time. This was something I couldn’t have imagined not doing. As I supported my lower self, I felt more grounded, as if literally connecting to a grounding source. I would occasionally insert my fingers to get my bearings of what was happening, and if things were feeling intense, I would provide stimulation to “distract” the sensation and provide further grounding. This is a technique I’ve heard of and read about but never seen in practice. If I were to offer advice, it would be to stay as close and intimate to your body as you can during this process, recognize all the parts of you that are working tirelessly to achieve this goal.
So far, my contractions weren’t painful. I would describe them as immense pressure that overtook me. But in surrendering with mind, utilizing breath and visualization, it was entirely manageable…until…
I eventually said “those last two contractions were a doozy”, and thought to myself, “I am not sure I can keep this up”. And it was then, around 1:30am, I got nauseous and puked several times. The timing was great, as I was now out of the tub to puke and was told the inflatable tub was ready for me. As I crawled into that tub, I noticed how shaky my body was.
My professional experience in the birth world had me whispering to myself.. “Is this transition?.. you doubted your ability to go any further, you puked, and now you’re shaking… but this is too soon for transition.. isn’t it?”. I did not want to be foolish in thinking I was further along than I actually was, but every sign was there, so I was keeping it in the back of my mind.
As I was crawling into the inflatable tub, I demanded we call the midwife and tell her to come then. I could not gauge how far along I was, but I no longer wanted to be “alone”. I called the midwife.. and if you can believe it, she was on her way to another birth! I sincerely thought this had to be a joke, 3 births in one night!! She gave me the option of having a backup midwife head over, or to wait an hour and call her back (as the other mama had a history of fast labors). I opted to call her back in an hour.
Almost immediately on arrival in the tub, I felt the urge to get out a bowel movement. Now, anyone that knows labor, knows that most often, the signal for the ‘pushing’ stage, is when mama reports she has to poop. But somehow I convinced myself I was different. I knew I hadn’t had a bowel movement all day, so I convinced myself I sincerely had an actual bowel movement I had to clear out so baby could comfortably make his way down…
And so, it turns out I wasn’t comfortable waiting the hour.. and only 20 minutes after hanging up the phone I called my midwife back to request the back up midwife be notified to come over.
This other midwife and her student arrived around 3:30am. I was so grateful to have someone there to support babies delivery. They offered to check me on arrival, but I know better. I know how checking can greatly impact your mental game (not to mention increase your risk of infection) and I didn’t want to be discouraged and so I opted to just continue to listen to my body..
I found my most favorite position was squatting low propped on one knee. I frequently asked for sips of ice cold water at this point, but even more frequently wanted my Popsicle. The coconut water popcicples I had made in advance were so satisfying in these moments. I remember thinking that I didn’t know what I would do without them! I felt this way about the inflatable tub as well..
